On the subject of cooking…

In 2013 I had a couple major life events and ever since I’ve really had trouble cooking anything. I’d go as far as saying that being in the kitchen sometimes makes me uncomfortable and that going to the grocery store is something that I have to mentally prepare for.

I went through a huge loss, a legal battle and what I can only describe as a mine field. I lost a lot and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I was so angry at what was happening and I had so little I could do about it. You might wonder how this is going to relate back to cooking but just wait, we’ll get there.

I’ve never been a great cook. It’s not my thing and it probably won’t ever be, but the few recipes I could make I had learned from the people who I found out didn’t care about me. I couldn’t stand to make the things I had once made with them and so essentially I lost all my fallback recipes. I tried learning new ones but every time I tried to cook in my kitchen I would fail. Nothing I made had any flavor. I picked myself up for a bit but the truth is that it’s getting to the point where I don’t even know what I want to eat anymore. Even at restaurants I don’t know what I want. My love of food has left me. Maybe I’ll find it again. Maybe I just need a reason to pick up a spatula again. In the mean time, just maybe I should put my big girl panties on and sign myself up for a cooking class.

Do you live to eat or do you eat to live?